Love is a profound and powerful force that often elicits a mix of skepticism and belief, especially among those who have yet to encounter their own significant other. The notion that love can overcome any obstacle is one that resonates deeply, not just as a mere sentiment but as a reality that can inspire and motivate. It manifests in countless ways, often surprising us with its strength and resilience, reminding us of the incredible feats it can achieve.
One remarkable story that embodies this sentiment is that of Kris Scharoun-DeForge and her husband, Paul Scharoun-DeForge. This couple, both living with Down syndrome, faced and overcame numerous challenges throughout their lives together. Their journey serves as a testament to love’s capacity to thrive against the odds, offering a source of inspiration for many who aspire to find and nurture a meaningful connection.
Kris and Paul’s love story began three decades ago at a dance, where they instantly felt a magnetic attraction. In a moment of clarity, Kris described the experience, stating that when she looked into Paul’s eyes, she immediately saw her future. Their connection was immediate and powerful, leading to a beautiful partnership that would last for 25 years. Their marriage was not just a union; it was a celebration of love that defied societal expectations. For years, they proved to the world that their love was genuine and profound, contrary to the misconceptions some held regarding emotional maturity among individuals with Down syndrome.
The couple placed great importance on celebrating their love, particularly on Valentine’s Day. Each year, despite the love they expressed year-round, they made it a special occasion. Kris would handcraft a card for Paul, and they would enjoy a meal together, cherishing the moments they had. Their tradition was a reflection of their deep bond, one that remained unbreakable even as they navigated life’s challenges together.
Valentine’s Day 2018 marked a significant milestone: the couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. This celebration was a poignant reminder to all the doubters who believed that love could not flourish in their circumstances. Their enduring partnership served as a powerful rebuttal to such notions, showcasing the beauty and authenticity of their relationship.
The following year, in February 2019, Kris and Paul were surprised by a visit from a barbershop quartet named Harmony Katz. The group had learned about their extraordinary love story and wanted to honor them with a heartfelt serenade. As the quartet sang classics, including the beloved tune “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” Kris wrapped her arms around Paul, reinforcing the depth of their love even in the face of adversity.
Despite the joyous occasions, life took a difficult turn when Paul was diagnosed with early-stage dementia, a condition that disproportionately affects individuals with Down syndrome. As the disease progressed, Paul was moved into a community residence equipped to provide the specialized care he needed. Throughout this challenging time, Kris remained devoted, staying by his side and offering unwavering support. The emotional toll of the situation weighed heavily on her, as she expressed the depth of her love, saying, “When they told me, I started to cry. He’s my life. I don’t want to be without him.”
Tragically, Paul passed away in April, succumbing to complications related to Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 56. His mother, Lorraine DeForge, reflected on Paul’s life as a living testament against the warnings some doctors had given when he was born, cautioning that individuals with Down syndrome would face insurmountable obstacles. Paul’s life, filled with love and partnership, contradicted those early predictions, proving that love and support could indeed shape a fulfilling life.
Even in the final months of their journey together, Kris and Paul created lasting memories. During a summer when Kris was recovering from pneumonia, Paul made a heartfelt visit to her hospital room on their anniversary, August 13. Despite both being in wheelchairs, they renewed their marriage vows in the hospital chapel, a moment that captured the essence of their commitment. Kris described it as a moment when Paul seemed to awaken, smiling and reaching for her hand, reaffirming their bond even in the most challenging circumstances.
In the days leading up to his passing, Kris expressed her love in beautiful ways. She drew a butterfly, a symbol of transformation and hope, and hung it on the wall by Paul’s bedside. Along with the drawing, she left a note, tenderly declaring him the “man of her dreams.” This simple yet profound gesture encapsulated the love they shared—a love that endured despite the trials they faced.
Kris and Paul’s journey exemplifies the power of love to transcend life’s obstacles. They showed that, regardless of external circumstances, the strength of their connection allowed them to navigate challenges together. Their story serves as a reminder that love, in its purest form, is a sanctuary, a sacred bond that can withstand the tests of time and adversity.
In a world where love is often taken for granted, the lessons learned from Kris and Paul’s relationship are especially poignant. Their example encourages others to embrace love with open hearts, to cherish the moments spent together, and to understand that love can conquer even the most daunting challenges. Their legacy reminds us that love, in all its forms, is a powerful and transformative force that can illuminate the path forward, inspiring others to believe in the beauty of love, no matter the odds.